<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Veillées funèbres by Amazaria</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25868818">Veillées funèbres</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amazaria/pseuds/Amazaria'>Amazaria</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the only steady thing in a world you've set on fire yourself [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Piece</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(as in I've given up on fixing my timeline), Banter, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Koala and Sabo being siblings, Missing Scene, Non-Chronological, Platonic Relationships, Post-Marineford, Sabo-centric, Sarcasm and other things to do when pretending you don't have emotions, The author's insistent feelings about ASL, The author's insistent feelings about Sabo and memory, attempts at humor, character study of sorts, discussion of canon character death, the barest hints of plot or themes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:15:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,315</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25868818</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amazaria/pseuds/Amazaria</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's not- it's not fair, it's not-"</p><p>His hands fall away from his face at last, come clutch at the grass beside him instead, leaving the tears rolling down his face on full display; Koala stands there, frozen, grieving for children that have long since grown up, and feels utterly useless.</p><p>(A heart is a dangerous thing to have in this world, Mariejois or not; but Koala has always liked taking risks.)</p><p>Below them, the ocean roars on, indifferent.</p><p>(or: snippets of Sabo, sort of focusing on his relationship with his family, post-remembering.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Koala &amp; Sabo (One Piece), Mentions of Monkey D. Luffy &amp; Portgas D. Ace &amp; Sabo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the only steady thing in a world you've set on fire yourself [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747771</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Excellent Completed Gen &amp; Platonic Fiction</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Veillées funèbres</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Your parents are dead," cheerfully announces Koala as she enters Sabo's office, balancing a stack of half-burned papers and two cups of coffee in her arms.</p><p></p><div>
  <p>"Oh, thank the Seas," sighs her partner, and promptly buries himself back in the files he's been reading. Betty, who is supposed to be debriefing her previous assignment with the Information division's chief, and is instead eating pancakes in the Chief of Staff's office, raises her eyebrows.</p>
  <p></p>
  <div>
    <p></p>
    <div>
      <p>"Are we not sad about that?" She asks, vaguely concerned, but probably more preoccupied with the fact she only has one pancake and a half left on her plate.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Hmm?" Says Sabo, probably more for the pretense of being polite than because he has actually misheard what she said. Sabo has been burying himself in the same files for about five days now, trying to make sense of the connections between missions, and Koala is fairly sure he hasn't slept or even considered sleeping the whole time. The only reason why he answered Koala is because- well, because she's Koala. To every other Revolutionary who is not Koala or Dragon in a slightly worried mood, Sabo is dead to the world.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Considering Sabo is their Chief of Staff and is as such responsible for quite a lot of things on Baltigo, it's probably a bad thing, but hey, it's not like Koala hasn't replaced him enough times for nobody to blink when she's the one giving orders instead of the ever-polite blond.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>(And anyway, nobody would argue with Koala even if she wasn't replacing Sabo. She's <em>Koala</em>.)</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"We're not, no," says Koala, and leaves it at that. If Sabo wants to share-</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>(Which he does not. The whole story of Sabo's upbringing, Koala only knows because of that disastrous mission during which they had to interact with nobles and accidentally ran into Sabo's third cousin on his mother's side, or something like that. Sabo freaked out, Koala got worried and asked an explanation, he explained, Koala called him an idiot and reminded him that 1) approximatively 15 years had passed since his cousin had last seen him 2) his cousin thought him dead, like literally every single person from his past. They had then promptly never talked about it again, like they do for Koala's unstoppable shaking whenever they approach anything that looks like an arena, or the way Sabo sometimes scratch at his scars like his whole body is still on fire and he can feel his flesh melting.)</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>-but <em>if </em>Sabo wants to share, well, he'll do it when he wants.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Oh, okay," only says Betty, attention returning on her pancake (only a half left) like she's not one of the four generals of the Revolutionary army and hasn't engraved the information in her memory.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Koala makes her way to Sabo's table, drowned in paperwork, and sits by his side. She keeps her stack of reports close and sets Sabo's coffee on the table. He takes it absentmindedly, muttering a quick <em>thank you, </em>and then stops in his tracks, and says, "Please tell me they died in a fire, that would be hilarious."</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Koala shakes her head apologetically. "The report said murder via poison? Their funeral was too private an affair for it to be regular, old-age death. Probably done by your adopted brother, if it comforts you."</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Sabo grimaces. "Oh, come on, he's still alive?" He rubs his eye in a futile attempt to get rid of the burning; the one with his scar always aches when he's reading, but when he's reading <em>and</em> hasn't slept for about five days, it's far worse. "I guess at least two of them are dead."</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Koala hums sympathetically. "By the way, I'm giving you the rest of the day to finish whatever you're doing and then you're sleeping," she warns.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Sabo waves a hand dismissively. "Give me two hours and a meeting with Dragon and I'll go willingly," he says, yawning as he finishes his sentence, and Koala nods once before immersing herself in the stack of papers she carried in with her.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Betty, go report to the Information division," she calls as the general exits the building. "Or go get us more pancakes!"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>(They never talk about Sabo's parents again.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>They stopped mattering ages ago, after all.)</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>oOo</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div>
      <p>"Oh wow," says Sabo, setting foot on Dawn Island's forest for the first time in about a decade. "It hasn't changed at all! I bet I still know the way to the river, c'mon, Koala!"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Remind me again," asks Koala instead of following her idiot of a partner, "why we're going through the forest instead of following the perfectly good path we know leads to the bandits's hideout?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>" 'Cause I'm dreading seeing Dadan again, and I'd rather delay our confrontation," answers Sabo easily, dodging leaves and branches with an ease that has nothing to do with muscle memory and everything to do with Observation Haki.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"You're the one that wanted to go see Dadan-"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Also," continues Sabo, ignoring her, "we'll be less likely to be spotted if we go through the forest, and finally, I'm the one who knows where we are and how we're getting into Goa, so you have no choice but to stop complaining and follow me."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Koala tries to hit him; he jumps away. "Be grateful that at least two of those are reasonable reasons, otherwise I'd really argue. Alright, alright, are you enjoying yourself at least?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Sabo turns to grin at her, ducks to avoid the giant tiger lunging for his head, knocks it out, and beams.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Yeah! Good memories! Hey, have you ever tried tiger meat?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Koala ignores that. "Good memories?" She inquires.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Sure! I'm going to be way less chipper once we get to Goa, I should warn you."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Good, because your good mood looks worryingly manufactured, and <em>you</em> look susceptible to fall apart at any moment."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Pretty much," shrugs Sabo, his smile slightly strained at the edges for a moment, then back to happy and easy again. The slip was too long to be unintentional; Koala narrows her eyes.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Are you alright?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I'm not burning alive, so pretty decent. Hey, do you want to see our cliff? We had a cliff above the ocean, it was really cool. Ace and I went there all the time! And Luffy too, I guess, but that was more because he didn't want us to see him cry."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"We do need to get into the city eventually, Sabo."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Just the cliff! We didn't go that much, I won't stay there long, I promise. C'mon, Koala, let me have fun! When did you become boring?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Sabo leans away from the stick Koala throws at him, grinning all the while.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I let you have fun all the time."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Well then what's one more time?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Koala sighs and follows him through the forest, Sabo bounding ahead and knocking down both trees and animals while Koala complains more than she usually does just to spite him. Eventually they arrive at the cliff, Sabo disappearing from her view once he figures he doesn't need to lead her anymore now that they can hear the ocean.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Koala emerges from the trees to see Sabo frozen in place, and frowns.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Sabo?" She calls, and he doesn't even twitch or raise his hand to let her know he's alright. Rude. "Sabo, are you okay?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Below them, waves crash.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"They made me a grave," whispers Sabo.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Koala freezes, too, for a second, before stepping further onto the grass of the cliff. Sabo's right, she realizes distantly. There's a weathered marker there, made of wood, and a clumsily written <em>Sabo </em>etched onto it.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>A makeshift tombstone, made by wild children.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"They- Koala," chokes out Sabo, and she whirls around to see him go pale. He looks heartbreakingly tall in front of his grave.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>(Luffy, Koala numbingly recalls, was only seven when Sabo disappeared.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>This a tomb made by and for children, and Sabo must have been as tall as the marker, when he died.)</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I didn't think they would- I didn't think they'd have bothered. Koala, Koala, they <em>made me a grave.</em>"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"You're their brother," murmurs Koala. "Why wouldn't they have made you a grave?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Sabo chokes on a laugh, that comes out as a sob. "Because it didn't mean anything to them? Because- because we were raised by bandits? Because- because they're <em>Ace and Luffy, </em>they don't care about stuff like that!"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>(Wild children, thinks Koala, but they must have been wild in a kinder way than she had been, must have been wild in the way that meant <em>free, </em>rather than <em>cornered. </em></p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Free to lose; free to try. Free to remember, free to dream, free to love.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>What a terribly precious thing, freedom.)</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"They cared about you," she points out, and Sabo stumbles back like she's just hit him.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"But I left," he protests. "But- but I gave up on them. Koala, I left<em>.</em>"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>He stares at the grave.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"They grieved me. I didn't think- I had hoped-"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>He collapses disgracefully, all at once, and his hands come to rest at the scar on his eyes, as if he can still feel it burning.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I didn't realize. I didn't realize- Koala, they thought I was dead, they made me a grave, they <em>buried me. </em>And all I could think about, when I had no memories left, was how nothing good could possibly exist on this island-"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"That's not your fault."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"How? How is it not my fault? I should have- how could I forget them? I loved them<em>, </em>so how?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Sabo-"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I forgot them, and they made me a grave. It's not- it's not fair, it's <em>not-</em>"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>His hands fall away from his face at last, come clutch at the grass beside him instead, leaving the tears rolling down his face on full display; Koala stands there, frozen, grieving for children that have long since grown up, and feels utterly useless.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>(A heart is a dangerous thing to have in this world, Mariejois or not; but Koala has always liked taking risks.)</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Below them, the ocean roars on, indifferent.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I- I'm sorry," offers Koala at last, and Sabo shakes his head. "Sabo, I'm so sorry. Of course they would have made you a grave, they loved you, too. Whatever happened to you doesn't change that."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Ace thought I was dead," he answers, voice raw and full of emotions he'll probably only ever trust Koala with; she shivers and tries not to feel crushed by the weight of his trust. "When he died, he thought I was dead- Luffy thinks I'm dead. In their mind, I never lived past ten years old. They don't love <em>me</em>, they loved the ten-years-old boy."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p><em>I'm willing to bet you're exactly like the ten-years-old boy they lived with, </em>almost says Koala. But she doesn't want to lie to him, and revolution, or sacrifices, leave scars that it'd feel disrespectful to ignore.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Stop being an idiot," she sighs instead. "Just because Luffy grew up doesn't mean he's less your brother."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Sabo laughs wetly at the exasperation in her voice, just once, and then raises his head and faces his name on a tombstone, breathes deliberately slow and deep.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"He might hate me," he says, and he sounds like he's accepted it, like he thinks it'll happen; like all that's left for him to do is brace himself for the pain.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p><em>So that's what it's about</em>, think Koala, and all her fear of saying the wrong thing melts into compassion. "He won't hate you."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"How could he not? I forgot them, I let Ace die- I wasn't even <em>there.</em> Luffy came, our stupid, weak little brother <em>stormed Impel Down </em>for Ace, and I didn't even remember them-"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Sabo, he's never going to hate you. And Ace wouldn't have, either. They'd both be overjoyed to know you're alive. You don't hate Luffy for failing to save Ace, why would he hate you?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Because <em>I should have been there</em>. I'm the older one, Luffy shouldn't even have had to go, I should've gone for him and saved Ace-"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"You didn't remember him," she reminds him gently, and he laughs brokenly and says:</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Then why should I deserve them remembering me? Why should I deserve the grave they made me, why would I deserve to see Luffy again when Ace can't even though he didn't <em>leave?</em>"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Koala throws a stick at him.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"You should know better than anyone that it's not a matter of deserving," she says acidly, and Sabo, perhaps remembering the mark on her back, softens slightly.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Sorry. No, I know, but it's <em>not fair. </em>I- Koala, Koala, I <em>miss him. </em>Why- why did he have to die for me to remember?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Koala pauses, and Sabo curls up further into himself for a moment.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"That's not your fault," she says again, and then, softer: "I wish you could have remembered earlier. I wish you didn't have to endure this, you know I do, Sabo, but-"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"-we can't do anything about it," he says, and he sounds drained, nothing like the Sabo she knows, who looked at injustice when he was ten years old and decided he couldn't live in a world that let that happen. His tears have dried; he lets his gaze fall from the grave, and his head drops. "I know."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Koala gets closer, finally. Sabo doesn't like to be crowded when he cries, a trait they both share; it feels too close to being vulnerable, and neither of them have ever been good at it.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>She lets her hand drop on his shoulder, as a warning, and he leans into it slightly. "Sorry," he breathes, and Koala sits down next to him and shakes her head firmly, but doesn't say anything.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I knew coming to Goa was a bad idea. I hate this fucking city," he laughs hollowly. "Too many memories, I'm still not used to it."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"It's been- what, five months? Cut yourself some slack."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Maybe," he sighs, and leans slightly so his head rests on Koala's shoulder. "Hey, Koala, how mad would you be if I made us go through the forest so we could see Dadan and then decided I can't see her yet?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I wouldn't be mad, you idiot. It's been a decade, and I still can't look at my parents."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Sabo hums. "How mad would Dragon be if I didn't make sure Stelly ended up king? I really don't like him, you know."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I mean, he's our best shot at getting you into Mariejois for the next Rêverie, but I'm sure we could come up with something else."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Dragon would be really mad, though."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Sure, but he's been mad before. If you don't want to-"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"You don't need to coddle me, Koala," laughs Sabo; but his voice is still shaky, and he hasn't lifted his head yet. Koala resists the urge to check whether or not he has his eyes closed.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Maybe I just don't like him, too."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"That'd be more convincing if you had ever met him before."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I know enough about him to not like him without having to confirm it by meeting him."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I wouldn't recommend meeting him."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Duly noted. Are you okay?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Sabo shakes with repressed laughter.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"You're terrible at this."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"We're sitting in front of your grave, I have a right to be concerned," retorts Koala, piqued.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Sure. I'm okay, we can do the mission. And maybe after we'll go to Dadan. Not now, though."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Sure. Makino might tell her something, though."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Even better if I don't have to explain it all."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"You're so terrible at honesty."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I'm a <em>spy, </em>Koala."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Yeah, but a bad one. D'you want to get up?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Yeah, actually, I hate this cliff now."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Oh no, wait, does that mean I'm going to have to dodge the tigers and crocodiles again?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Or you could just let them eat you."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"<em>Sabo.</em>"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>(They leave the grave behind, Sabo not breathing one bit easier even if she's pretending not to notice it. Koala can feel the weight of the guilt on Sabo's shoulders, eating at his foundations. Can feel the weight of grief surrounding this cliff that used to be an escape, before being destroyed by greed and pride and fire, and all those things she had learned to hate in Mariejois. She thinks, <em>ha.</em></p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>
        <em>Just another reason to fight.</em>
      </p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>And she mourns quietly, for brighter versions of children that she never knew, that no longer exist, and yet still haunt her partner's memory.)</p>
      <p> </p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>oOo</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Sabo wakes up to find out he missed Koala's "funeral", so that's a pretty good way to start the day.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"You know," she comments from her place on the side of the room he's been staying in, "I'm really starting to find you grinning at my tragic demise a little hurtful."</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"You can't, you're dead," he says, grinning. "You were taken away in the dead of night by some terrible bandits, and definitely not captured by slave-dealers posing as owners of this inn. How will I ever recover?"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Of course, how could I forget," she mutters. "Why am I always the one that has to get captured when we're investigating slave-dealers?"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Sabo shrugs. "'Cause you're terrifying, and you can punch through walls," he explains, and just as Koala is about to point out that he can also punch through walls, if a little less successfully than her, he adds: "And also because if I let you in a room with them alone you'd kill them instantly, and then we wouldn't get any information, and Dragon would <em>frown.</em>"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Sabo's tone is a little disgusted at the end of his sentence, and he's probably about to go on another rant about the amount of collateral damage acceptable on a mission, so Koala stretches and interrupts him before that can happen.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"He's so annoying," she agrees idly. "But really, you missing my death <em>and </em>my funeral three times now is starting to make me think you're mad at me."</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"I'm not mad at you," reassures Sabo automatically, then stops in his tracks and looks at her suspiciously. "...But <em>you</em>'re mad at me?"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Koala shrugs. "Not really."</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"No, you're definitely mad at me, what did I do?"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Apart from being unconscious for three days because you were overconfident? Not much. I mean, you stole my sandwich on the way here, too."</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Sabo sits up so fast his vision goes black for a moment.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Three days," he repeats, incredulous. "Three days? Koala, I was out <em>three days?</em>"</p>
    <p>"Sleep-Sleep Devil Fruit," she explains, and Sabo's eyes immediately widen.</p>
    <p>"Oh, no. How did we miss this? Oh, that's so bad, Koala. What does it do? It can't not be insanely powerful, things just don't work like that for us, but please tell me it's reasonable."</p>
    <p>Koala pointedly ignores him, and idly studies the ceiling of the inn room, like it's the most interesting thing she's ever seen.</p>
    <p>(It's blank.)</p>
    <p>"On the bright side, I think this is the most sleep you've gotten in years," she finally comments. Sabo sighs as he gets up.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Koala, Koala, I will apologize and bring you a hundred coffees or pastries or <em>whatever you want </em>later, please tell me how terrible the situation is."</p>
    <p>"Pretty terrible. You're locked in the room, by the way, and your cover's blown."</p>
    <p>Sabo groans, and just barely resists the urge to put his head in his hands and ignore the rest of the world for a good four hours.</p>
    <p>"Blown as in, "someone recognized the Chief of Staff of the Revolutionary Army and they freaked out", or blown as in, "someone recognized the Chief of Staff of the Revolutionary Army <em>and his partner </em>and they freaked out <em>and sold us both to the Marines</em>"?"</p>
    <p>"Well, they don't know who<em> I</em> am," says Koala, "I'm not an amateur."</p>
    <p>Sabo visibly starts to protest, and then thinks better of it.</p>
    <p>"Sure. So you're free?"</p>
    <p>"Technically I'm locked in with the rest of the people they kidnapped, but yeah, pretty much."</p>
    <p>"Wonderful. About that Sleep-Sleep Fruit?"</p>
    <p>"No idea how it works, how to avoid it, and who his user is. Also, they're planning on setting the inn you're staying in on fire."</p>
    <p>Sabo stops in the middle of grabbing his clothes and papers to stare at her.</p>
    <p>"...but I'm made of fire."</p>
    <p>Koala shrugs once again.</p>
    <p>"Apparently they don't know that, what do you want me to say?"</p>
    <p>"Koala," says Sabo with exponentially increasing despair, "have I been made by <em>amateurs</em>? Have I been made by idiots?"</p>
    <p>She smiles. "Well at least they recognize their own."</p>
    <p>"You're going to be insufferable about this, aren't you."</p>
    <p>"I would never," she says, and pushes herself off the wall she'd been leaning on when she sees that Sabo's done getting ready. "On an unrelated note, Dragon wanted me to tell you to, and I quote, "stop being an idiot"."</p>
    <p>Sabo huffs. "This is favoritism."</p>
    <p>"It's not favoritism if it's justified, Sabo."</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>He whirls around to face her and says, "I get to make mistakes! This is not the biggest mistake I've made, even!"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"You're all out of leniency after your stunt in Dressrosa, I fear," she tells him faux-sympathetically.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"You were there for that, how come it's all on me? And this wasn't even my fault, Dragon's the father here! He's the one that should take responsibility for Luffy's actions!"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Yes, I'm sure your brother responds to authority figures as well as you do," snorts Koala, and Sabo sends his arms into the air and sets the door on fire at the same time. Locking him inside a room hadn't been enough to stop him even before he became a walking inferno, but now it's <em>really</em> useless.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"I'm just saying, it's unfair! I'm the Chief of Staff, I should get some more respect," he continues whining.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"You'll get over it. Picture it like this: who do you want to punch in the face the most, Dragon or the Celestial Dragons?"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Well you don't have to be rude and question my burning hate for those waste of perfectly good oxygen, Koala."</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"See? Absolutely no problem here. Now take Dragon's advice and stop being an idiot, and I'll ignore <em>your </em>advice and go kill some slave-dealers while you do the boring work. Don't get put to sleep again!"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Why do <em>you </em>get the fun part?"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Because I'm still mad at you and this is how you'll make it up to me! Now chop-chop, taking down corrupted World Government officials isn't going to happen on its own!"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Sabo can only sigh as he watches her walk away.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Oh, and set the inn on fire.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>oOo</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"SABO!" Screams Koala as she slams Sabo's door open, uncaring of the mountain of papers she sends flying doing so. "You forgot to tell me you were faking your death <em>again, </em>you complete and utter <em>asshole!</em>"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Sabo looks at her for a moment, utterly perplexed and slightly scared of her clenched fists and heaving shoulders.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Koala, we fake our death all the time," he says. "Surely I don't have to warn you each time it happens?"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Koala almost snarls at him, but then seems to lose her motivation and just stands there. Sabo notices a little too late that her eyes are red, in the way they only are when she just spent a long time crying.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"You didn't tell me it was <em>fake,</em>" she whispers shakingly.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Sabo blanches.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"I didn't?" He asks almost reflexively, and then flinches when all the anger that had drained out of Koala comes back with renewed energy.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"No, you didn't! And I learned through that awful report and I couldn't come home earlier and I thought I was going to <em>miss your funeral-</em>"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Koala," murmurs Sabo, as she breaks into tears. He looks wide-eyed in the middle of the room, utterly disoriented and so regretful it could almost be funny, except Koala's crying and it's <em>Sabo's fault.</em></p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>(It's not a surprise, really. There are few people Koala will cry for, but Sabo is definitely at the top of that list.)</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"I thought you were <em>dead,</em>" she continues, "I thought you had died on some stupid everyday mission-"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Koala," interrupts Sabo. "Koala, I'm so sorry, I'm alive."</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Well I know that <em>now</em>," she says, trying to get her breathing under control; but Sabo reaches a hand towards her and she starts crying again. "But I was stuck there two weeks and I thought you were <em>dead, </em>Sabo, how could you- why didn't you tell me? I thought you were- I thought I was-"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"I forgot," answers her partner, grimacing and looking awfully guilty. "I'm so sorry, that's not an excuse, but usually when I fake my death you're there or you know that the thing that supposedly killed me couldn't have, so I didn't think- I thought you'd figure it out, I'm sorry."</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"How was I supposed to figure it out?" Asks Koala, resentful. "It said you drowned, and you have a Devil Fruit now, so how was I supposed to- you can't do that, Sabo, you really can't." She chokes on her breath. "What if it was true that time, I really thought it was, what if you were <em>gone</em>- what if- what if-"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Koala," murmurs Sabo, at a loss for words, hand still outstretched towards her but not trying to get closer. "I'm sorry, I forgot, of course I'm not going to do it again-"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>She's still crying, and now she's also terribly still, eyes unseeing and stuck in a loop inside her own mind, which is so much worse. Sabo wants to stab himself for forgetting to warn her.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Koala?" He calls, soft.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Silence.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Koala," he tries again. "I'm fine, I swear, it was nothing, just moles in our team, we had to fool them for at least two days. I was never in that much danger, and you know I can take care of myself."</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Koala finally glares at him; the gesture is familiar even if the tears aren't, and it's everything Sabo had wanted to see.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Yeah, I know that," she agrees, "but you know, I have no reason to believe that over a detailed account from Dragon himself about how you <em>drowned</em>."</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Sabo winces, once more.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Okay," he says. "We're taking our next mission together, then, I assume?"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>She watches him for a moment, looking lost. "I don't know- Dragon asked me to- I don't know if we can do that."</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>Yeah, fuck that.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"We're taking our next mission together, and the one after too," he repeats, the question gone from his tone. "Dragon will understand. It's not like he doesn't have plenty of almost suicide missions he can't possibly assign to someone else. Our lack of self-preservation has to be useful for something, at least."</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Sabo-" she says, her voice halfway a warning and halfway a laugh.</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"No, shut up, I'm apologizing," he interrupts, and she looks elsewhere. When she doesn't comment, he sighs and walks towards the door, giving up on the papers still spread all around his room. "Come one, let's go spar, you'll get to punch me for being an idiot!"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"I'd punch you anyway," mutters Koala, following him, and Sabo just shrugs and says:</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>"Yeah, but that way the medics won't yell at you!"</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p>oOo</p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
  <div>
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div>
      <p>It takes forever for Sabo to work up the courage to visit Ace's grave, which he figures would make him a terrible brother if he wasn't one already.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Of course, Ace is probably too dead to care, so that's fine, he guesses. </p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"So," says Koala once they're there. "Do you want me to leave?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Please don't," answers Sabo, voice too steady. "Koala, what do you do at a grave?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I-" says Koala, and falters. Mariejois didn't have graves, it had furnaces. "I don't know. Offerings, maybe? Remembrance."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I have too many memories already," sighs Sabo, but he sits down in front of Ace's tombstone, cross-legged, and reaches out towards the dagger before changing his mind. "This is really stupid, Koala. I mean- I didn't even know him, in the end. Maybe I should go."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Was still your brother," counters his partner softly, standing behind him. "And anyway you don't need to know people to mourn them."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Sabo tilts his head back towards the sky, the only piece of this place that isn't marked by death and grief, and closes his eyes tight.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I have too many memories," he whines. "I'd get rid of some if I could."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Welcome to remembering your childhood, Sabo."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Ha, thanks. It's just- I have so many memories of my parents, you know? And so few of him. Them, both of them, but him especially."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Didn't you know him longer?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Yeah, but there are no more memories to be made. Whereas Luffy- well, if he even wants to see me."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Koala frowns. "What do you mean, <em>if</em>-"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I should go," interrupts Sabo, standing up. "I should go, this was a mistake, <em>obviously</em> I don't belong here, I didn't even know him-"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Stop saying that," sighs Koala, and he whirls around, something aggressive or pleading in his eyes.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"But it's <em>true- </em>Koala, it is! I don't even know what he looked like!  And he's supposed to be my brother, but I can't even pick one single good memory to reminisce, because the first thing that comes to mind when I think about him is just- just his fucking corpse, on a newspaper's front page!"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>He shakes, staring at the graveyard around them; swords stuck in the ground, blood still visible on the handles, because none of them have ever been able to escape violence. He laughs, mockingly, and Koala <em>hates </em>this, when Sabo gets cruel at himself, like if he tears himself open the blood will hide his too-sensitive scars. </p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Koala, I <em>miss him, </em>isn't that so stupid? I hadn't been by his side for ten years, and I couldn't care less, and now I feel like-I miss them. I wish- I wish- I wish I could have thanked him, for being there. I wish I could have apologized, at least."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>He looks helpless.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Do you know- I have no idea what those are," he says, gesturing to the dagger and hat on Ace's tombstone. "What they meant. But they obviously meant something, they're on his grave, and I hate that other people got to know him better than me. I hate that <em>they </em>got to be here for him, it's so stupid- Koala, Koala, I want my brother <em>back. </em>He knew me and I trusted him and I've been gone ten years but it feels like I've never spent a day away from him, and- and- and he's <em>dead. </em>Dead and buried, and I wasn't even there for the funeral. He buried me and I <em>didn't</em>."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Ace's hat sways in the wind, next to his captain's coat. They stand in the graveyard, and Sabo doesn't look out of place, the guilt and grief painted on his face perfectly at home in this once-peaceful island, now irremediably stained with blood.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"I wish I knew him. I wish I could say for sure what he'd think. I wish- Koala, isn't it so stupid, for me to miss him so badly?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"It's stupid of you to ask," comments Koala, and Sabo chokes on a laugh. "I'm not going to tell you how to feel, Sabo, I wasn't there. You loved him. That's reason enough."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Guess so," mutters her partner. "Ah, I'm being overdramatic, aren't I?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"We've had this conversation. You know what I think. And you're always overdramatic, anyway."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Pot, kettle." </p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Not the point. Didn't you come here for something?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Yeah, saying goodbye. Turns out it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I wrote a letter the first time, and it wasn't nearly as hard." He sighs."But it wasn't supposed to be a lasting goodbye, I guess."</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"You'll be fine," orders Koala more than she asks.</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"You'll be there?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>Koala scoffs. "Where else would I go?"</p>
    </div>
    <div>
      <p>"Then yeah."</p>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And, because I'm very bad at making my themes and concepts clear in the fic itself, which relationships each paragraph attempts to talk about:</p><p>i. blood family<br/>ii. luffy, ace, (dadan)<br/>iii. koala (in normal situations)<br/>iv. koala (when distressed)<br/>v. ace (or, more accurately, the memory of him)</p><p>and more koala throughout all of those, because, like, gestures at the Koala&amp;Sabo tag on this fic</p><p>(the title, as is the rule for my Koala&amp;Sabo fics, is in French. it means wake.)</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>